Zombie Repellent Bar Soap

ancient spices. sacred woods. pungent musk.

by now, it feels like you’ve been running for days. by now, you wish you’d stayed on the track team in high school. by now, you wish you hadn’t just eaten an entire Hot ‘n Ready all by yourself. lucky for you, you’ve got an ace in the hole; this here bar of zombie repellent. just lather up right quick and you’ll throw those undead shlubs off your scent instantly! you know... some people actually cover themselves in zombie guts to mask their scent. i mean, ew...